Scribblings Empowerment Blog

Don't Live in the Future

5/16/2024

If you are career-minded, it is so easy to slip into living in the future. You get so busy thinking about your goals that the day-to-day slips out of your awareness. You put off doing things with your family or friends because you are too busy working on your goals, and besides, there's always tomorrow...

Don't let this happen. All you have is the NOW. Of course, you are taking action in the present so that your future will be even better, but the truth is that the future doesn't really exist. The most important thing to realize is that your future is affected by how you treat your present! If you put your family and friends off in favor of being a workaholic, then when your business goals unfold, you may find you are celebrating alone.

You have likely heard someone tell you that you should examine your past, but never try to live there. Well, the other side of this coin is that you can plan for the future, but don't spend all your time "living" there morning, noon, and night.

My husband and I were BFFs. We talked about everything and spent nearly all our time together. But, nearly losing him thrice over the period of a decade made me more aware of how precious every moment I had with him was. When he passed away in 2020, my primary regret was that I hadn't realized this sooner, that is, during the time before he was ill.

Don't put it off! Make a promise to yourself to value yourself and your family and your friends as much as you value your business goals.

It will enrich and balance your life. You may even discover that your business will unfold in a grander fashion than you ever dreamed possible!

Are You Ready to Go to the Bank?

5/2/2024

There was a young man who spent his days wandering the streets of the city. Broke and living in rags, he was constantly looking for handouts. He could no longer borrow from friends or family because they were tired of his inability to pay his loans back and take responsibility for his life.

He lived a life of poverty despite the fact that he had a wealthy father who had died and left him a legacy of millions of dollars. All he had to do was go to the bank and follow the procedure to make a withdrawal. Sounds crazy, does it not?

Okay, let's say you have the responsibility to get him to change his ways and accept his good fortune. Where would you start and what would you tell him to do?

You would start by trying to convince him of the existence of his good fortune. Wouldn't you? Do you think this would be easy? Remember, he has gotten used to the idea that his life is one of a hand-to-mouth existence. Also, he has habituated to a survival lifestyle that's comfortable to him, regardless of how it looks to you.

But let's say that you do get him to accept that the money is waiting for him. What is the next step? Well, he would have to go to the bank and follow the procedures you've outlined for him to make a withdrawal.

How Does This Relate to Our Spiritual Understanding?

It is a good metaphor for the condition under which most people spiritually exist. For example: do you believe that your Creator left you a legacy of incredible wealth or have you habituated, like the son, to a life of just surviving? Do you know the procedure for laying claim to what God has left you in your spiritual bank account?

A life of abundance is not about financial wealth, although this may be part of some people’s experiences. A life of abundance is about a belief in knowing that you will have access to whatever you need when you need it.

Things may occur for you when you need to learn certain lessons in life that will help you move forward in your understanding. Even so, when “bad” things happen to “good” people, it serves a purpose on a grander scale. Does this awareness make it any easier for those involved? No, but if they believe it is a necessary part of their spiritual journey and glean the wisdom from the experience, they can move closer to an understanding of who they really are. In other words, as Teilhard said, they begin to more fully grasp that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience, not humans having a spiritual experience.

God cannot create a life of lack. He offers you all the good you can accept. And therein lies the difficulty. What are you willing to accept for yourself? Whatever it is, it correlates to your belief in the gifts awaiting you, your belief in yourself, and your knowing the procedure for making claim to these gifts.

Love is the energy of the Universe.

The Work of Change is Hard

Like everything else, there is a process involved. We all have a lot of erroneous thinking to overcome, and it rarely happens with a snap of the fingers. Simply shuffling things around in the outer world may gain you temporary success or success that requires all your energy to maintain. Real change starts from within.

Making permanent changes in one’s life is not complicated. However, it is an arduous journey. It requires the synchronizing of your thoughts and feelings to be in alignment with your desired goal. We often allow one or the other to be in charge of our decisions, which inevitably creates an imbalance.

Most of our journey entails recognizing the erroneous beliefs we hold about ourselves and our place in the Universe so that we can replace them with a higher understanding. Most don’t believe in the power each of us possesses, not only to make a change within ourselves, but by that change to contribute to positive changes in the Universe.

If you’re tired of just surviving physically, emotionally, financially, creatively, then you should take the time to go to your spiritual bank and learn the procedures for accessing the abundance that is yours.

Want to Feel Better than You Ever Thought Possible?

4/18/2024

I once knew someone who always answered the question, "How ya doin?" with "I'm doing better than I ever thought possible!" Every time I heard him say it, I would cringe and say to myself, "I wonder if he really believes that?"

My dilemma was that he looked like he was doing that well! To make a long story short, it was apparently having a positive impact on him. So I decided to try saying it myself.

At first, I was very self conscious because saying it felt out of character for me. It felt like I was lying to myself, and many times I didn't really feel as though I were doing that well. However, from the very start I enjoyed the reaction I was getting from people. Some just smiled. Some cringed, giving me that familiar look that said, "I wonder if he really believes that?" What I noticed, though, was that regardless of my mood at that moment, I always felt better after saying, ""I'm doing better than I ever thought possible!"

For most of us, our lives don't change in large ways. They change a little at a time, and much of this change happens because of what we say to ourselves. Many books have been written about the power of "self talk" and how it can influence your life in either a positive or negative way.

How do you know if you say to someone, "I'm doing better than I ever thought possible! that it will not only change you, but will also ignite in others the desire to think more positively? Go ahead and try it! It will grow on you as well as in you. You may find yourself enjoying your life despite what is going on around you.

An Angel on Your Shoulder

4/4/2024

How much would you pay for a service that nudged you every time you lost your temper, let someone's remarks deflate you, snapped at someone for no reason, started spiraling downward into depression, or put yourself down? Sound great? It would be a little like having an angel on your shoulder, wouldn’t it?

The bad news is—there's no such service out in the world anywhere. The good news is—you are hard-wired to create your own personal angel called a Self-observer, and it's FREE! It is an extension of your Higher Self, which is why it is objective, non-judgmental.

Your Self-Observer is an ever present part of yourself that whispers in your ear to wake you up to what is going on. It is not your conscience because there is no guilt or celebration connected to it. It simply observes and reports. The rest is up to you.

It takes time to develop your Self-Observer—time and a full commitment to the work of change. It is especially useful in working with your subpersonalities! (We'll talk about these another day.)

One last thing: Remember when we talked last time about the NOW? Well, developing the Self-observer helps you move toward having more conscious control of the wanderings of your mind and the less than desirable actions that may follow. It brings you closer to living in the NOW.

A Feeling for the NOW

3/28/2024

We hear a lot of talk about the NOW. Being in the NOW is supposed to change our experiences in life and increase our spiritual understanding. Why is this true? It's because most of the time we are not in the NOW. We are rehearsing what we are going to say to someone in the future or what we should have said in the past. We let our mind wander wherever it chooses. It may take us to a rehashing of negative past experiences or affirming our sense of being less-than. Why does this matter? It matters because it impacts how you react to the situations right in front of your face. It colors your universe whether you intend for it to or not.

What does being in the NOW mean for you?

You feel free of internal demands and recriminations.

You're in charge of your life because you are consciously choosing every minute to let the past and the self-imposed restrictions go.

You understand that THIS MOMENT is truly all there is.

You experience true joy and love more often in your day-to-day, recognizing that these moments are more important than things or accomplishment

We are such creatures of habit that developing the ability to release our belief that we must be thinking every waking moment won't be easy. It takes determination, but it will be worth it.

How Do You Eat an Elephant?

3/21/2024

So much has been written about goals that I hate to even bring up the subject; however, there is an approach toward goals that can create obstacles rather than support forward progress. Let me explain.

Lack Of Clarity Not Uncommon
Often there is great emphasis put on long term goals. You are asked to define them specifically and hold tight to this image. This is just fine if you have tremendous clarity about what you want. If you are young and preparing for your higher education, and you know that you want to be a doctor of pediatrics and practice in a small town, then congratulations on your clarity!

However, most of us find ourselves over the years in situations that are not so clear. Let’s say that you are working in a job that doesn’t challenge you or even utilize your skills or strengths. You have never trained for a specific field, but you are a quick study. You have never met a challenge in any field you’ve encountered that you couldn’t handle. You’re sick of the job you’re in, and you want something that will bring out your passions. You have thought and thought, but you can’t figure out what job or field would allow you to use your skills and excite you.

So, how do you set a specific long term goal when you’re that unclear? You don’t. You can set a goal, but it must outline your emotional and intellectual desires and not how they would manifest in the real world. You can desire a position where you can utilize your skills (write them out) and where you can be innovative. You can desire one about which you can be excited every day. It is good to establish these features of the position you desire; however, anything else at this point will only serve to separate you from your good. Forcing yourself to fill in the blanks is like trying to push a round peg into a square hole. It doesn’t work, and it won’t attract your true heart’s desire.

One Bite At A Time
Remember the joke that asks, how do you eat an elephant? Answer: one bite at a time. The same is true for goals, which means that the best approach when you lack clarity is to create clear short term goals. This is akin to “putting one foot in front of the other.” Take the most important of your skills, the one you enjoy doing the most, and begin doing research to find out how this skill is used in the marketplace. Stay with this short term goal until you feel a greater connection between your skill and the job market. Continue to refine your options by researching each of the skills you feel are important to your broad long term goal until you home in on the possibilities. Then you are able to fill in the blanks in your long term goal with specifics that resonate with you.

My example was job-related, but the principle works in your day-to-day as well. Unless you have absolute clarity about what you want, don’t force yourself into a corner with artificial desires. Make sure they resonate with both your intellectual and emotional desires, and never be embarrassed by lack of clarity about something. Just take it one bite at a time.

Don't Hide Your Feelings From Yourself

3/7/2024

It is truly hard to accurately judge a book by its cover for more reasons than one! Most of us work so hard at maintaining the persona we believe others expect that we don't realize how much hurt and disappointment is being pressed down into the depths of our psyche so we don't have to acknowledge it. Unfortunately, the more feelings you force into submission, the greater the force of the explosion when it comes. And it will come.

Stress
As a young person, I was always aware that it took a great deal to push me into an angry outburst. I was also aware that when that threshold was reached, it was not a pretty sight! The reason the explosion was exponentially more intense than the action that sparked it was because the explosion represented the cumulative effect of many such actions that I had stuffed down inside me.

After one memorable event, I asked myself: "When did I shift from just hiding my feelings from others to hiding my feelings from myself?" And you know what I figured out? It didn't really matter when it started. What did matter was that I recognized that I was doing it and started trying to change it.

Stress is usually caused by a lack of knowledge about a situation or a lack of direction. Taking a proactive stance on your personal psychology will change your life. There is an approach that is absolutely necessary if you plan to stay ahead of those feelings that have been simmering for years. It is called developing a Self-Observer.
Using a Self-Observer increases your awareness of the connection between your thoughts and feelings and your subsequent actions. It also gives you something specific to work on. Thus, it reduces the pressure that is building inside you from all those suppressed feelings

Your Self-Observer
Changing the way you deal with your feelings and your actions requires the development of this Self-Observer. Oh, it’s not what you may think. You know those voices in your head that always have some reaction to everything around you as well as to your thoughts and feelings? Well, that is NOT a Self-Observer.

Those voices are your subpersonalities. Each of them has an agenda, and most of them developed without your conscious awareness in order to meet some specific need that arose. We’ll talk about them at a future date.

A Self-Observer, however, is deliberately developed by you. It is a mental part of you that observes how you think and feel about events in your life without making judgment.

Developing your Self-Observer requires you to consciously note when you have a negative reaction to any situation, such as shouting at someone, or simply feeling regret or frustration over the way something unfolds.

The Self-Observer takes note of what happens, how you feel about it, and how you react to it. It does all this without making excuses, beating up on you, or taking score.

It takes time and effort for this process of self-observation to become second nature to you, but it will, and it is a CRITICAL part of your spiritual growth.

Pushing down your feelings, not dealing with them, in favor of meeting the expectations of others will backfire on you. Developing this Self-Observer is the method that allows you to be more honest with yourself about your feelings.

All the World's a Stage

2/22/2024

Spiritual growth is not linear. It is cyclical. Becoming more spiritually aware, you are in an uptrend, so to speak, but it has its setbacks. There are many moments when, despite what we know and feel, we act in opposition to both. This is just part of the process we experience in transforming knowledge into understanding. It isn't a one-time event either. Sometimes we respond to life circumstances with keen awareness. Then the next time we fail to be mindful. That's okay because as my husband loved to say, "Earth is the planet of lesson." As long as we don't continue to be oblivious of the spiritual learning curve that is our journey, our setbacks will be short-lived.

Shakespeare wrote: "All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts..." This is true not only for our individual journeys, but for the journey of humanity. As humans, we often accept facts as the goal and fail to assimilate them beyond our intellectual center into the emotional and moving centers from which it can morph into understanding. If we observe information from all sides, that is, think about what we think we know, we awaken the Emotional Center. We can begin to experience emotions that are not our usual fare. This can enable us to step outside what we've accepted as our truth into a new understanding. However, our intentions will have a profound effect on the result.

Masculine and Feminine Energies
In our world today, there are many situations giving us the opportunity to step back and apperceive or comprehend new ideas by assimilating them with the sum of one's previous knowledge and experience. Engaging the Intellectual and Emotional Centers with an open and receptive mind, we can begin to see the forest of change rather than the trees of discontent. Here in the United States, we are experiencing a global change in our own unique way through the current political scene. If we step back, we can observe that as Shakespeare said, the players here are only fulfilling their roles. We have for centuries manifested a society that reflects a dependence on the masculine energy rather than incorporating the feminine energy. As individuals we have both energies within; however, one tends to dominate over the other as it has with our nation. It is time, however, to embrace the change toward a more healthy balance.

Consider these perspectives: /integrating; individual/collective; external focus/internal focus; speaking/listening; competitive/collaborative; cause and effect/ relationships. These perspectives illustrate the two energies: masculine and feminine. Both have value, but it is easier to embrace one or the other rather than searching for a way to meld the energies into a force that expresses positive forward motion. When we accept the easy route and fight against the movement toward the collaboration of the two by engaging in the extremes of the intellect or the emotions, we find ourselves experiencing unnecessary setbacks.

The Three Forces
When I began stepping back far enough I could observe a situation without wallowing in negative emotions or intellectual piety, both pushing me to fight against, I began experiencing more positive outcomes in my life. Of course, I don’t always succeed because I am a work in progress.

There are two forces which impact the result of all action. Isaac Newton told us in his Law of Motion that “To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.” This is true in physics, but it is also true in the motion that comes about through our thoughts and beliefs. First Force is active or positive. Second Force is passive or negative. Third Force is the Conciliatory Force and comes about based on the energy we invest in either First Force or Second Force.

Think about it like this: Let’s say you desire to open your own business. It’s common practice to expose the pros and cons on paper. If you’re committed to the process, you will reveal First Force in your pros and Second Force in your cons. How many times have you heard someone say, “The cons outweighed the pros, and I just could not justify moving forward”?

The truth is that in your positive expression of a desire [to open a business], First Force was created. In listing the cons, you acknowledged the existence of the opposition within your own psyche to this desire, which is Second Force. The Third Force is the weight you assign to each column, hopefully utilizing both your Intellectual and Emotional Centers. If “the cons outweigh the pros” and you decide against opening a business, then you have created the Third or Conciliatory Force you are committing to take. If you conclude that the pros outweigh the cons, then you will be committing to a different Conciliatory Force that is compatible with your true beliefs at present.

Our American Stage
In recent years, these forces are playing out on a stage in which I had not been an active participant. At the end of the last century, the Clinton Administration with its record of the longest economic expansion in American history, gun safety laws, the Family and Medical Leave Act, and a plethora of other community-focused accomplishments represented First Force as the dominant balance. Unfortunately, as the years have passed, the undesirable shift toward Second Force that has been emerging for decades in this country and the world found its stride in the election of Trump in 2016.

Unfortunately, many of those representing First Force or positive change allowed themselves to become complacent in this century. Positive change is hard work; whereas negativity only requires an ear for propaganda and a susceptibility to sheep mentality or blindly following others without having to think for oneself. There is a proverb which says that empty vessels make the most noise. In other words, those with the least knowledge and talent are the quickest to make loud noise. This attribute often overwhelms those who desire positive change, causing us to withdraw our energies. The next four years did wake up sufficient numbers of people to stem the shift enough to move away from the representative of a dominant Second Force in 2020.

We cannot look at this situation without examining another influencing factor. As with most things in the world, there are extremes on both sides of any stance. In our politics, those extremes on both the right and the left are making the effort to achieve a balance that will serve all people in our nation nearly impossible. The left extreme wants forward movement at a fast pace without any consideration of the stance of the right. The right extreme focuses on controls to forestall any actions of the left. Though these extreme views are not representative of either side, both are obstructing any movement toward establishing a Third Force or Conciliatory Force which will serve the good of all. They may have different views, but they are both feeding energy into negativity within their own parties and the governance of our nation.

It lies with those who are not in the extremes to recognize that the divide is not Democrat versus Republican. It is those who desire to serve all the people of our nation versus those who are focused on personal gain and power.

Shifting the balance of the dominating force on our lives toward positive change both individually and collectively, can only happen if enough of us are willing to step back and see what is really happening. We must involve both our Intellectual and Emotional Centers before invoking our Moving Centers (taking action). If we continue to allow ourselves to be mesmerized by the negativity and sniping, we are giving our energy to the resistance for positive change (Second Force). One can see clearly how this struggle is taking place around the world.

Chemicalization
This is not just about what is happening “out there.” It is a process that must occur within each of us to grow spiritually, which in turn enhances our life. This process is call Chemicalization. Below is an essay I wrote for my book Metaphysical Minute – Philosophy on the Run published in 2005.

“The term chemicalization comes from the word chemistry. Chemistry is defined as "the science of dealing with reactions by which substances are converted into other substances." Chemicalization in your life has the same basic purpose. It is the process that occurs when your desire for spiritual growth demands that you confront your reactive states of mind so that you can create something new in your life.

Every part of your life has structure. Every bad relationship, for example, has a structure that has built up around it. This structure is very complex. Some of the things it includes are your attitudes, the value you place on yourself, your expectations, and usually a myriad of material things. If you want to change your negative experience into a positive one, you will have to deal with the complex structure of that bad relationship.

In the process of changing, however, you must let go of the fixed ideas that keep re-creating the same experiences over and over. Unfortunately, it means that you will have to travel into unfamiliar territory. This is scary for most people. Sometimes it gives you the same feeling you get in the pit of your stomach just before the roller coaster goes over the crest of the hill for that terrifying race to the bottom. After all, that's why you're really afraid, isn't it? You're afraid that if you change, things will just get worse, that it will be downhill all the way. It's true. They could get worse, but since you are the creator of your life, that's pretty much up to you!

The most important thing to remember about chemicalization is that "this, too, shall pass." It is just part of the structure of change, making it a positive experience. Learning to adjust and fine-tune the new situations that enter your life and to always keep your focus on your desire for growth [First Force] will keep your life from being a roller coaster ride.”

©Dannye Williamsen

Could You Like Green Eggs and Ham?

2/8/2024

Against all odds, the tomato plants along the fence in the backyard grew tall and strong, and the tomatoes were monsters! I say against all odds because the toddler from next door was always trying to climb the vines, and then there was the dog, who was constantly trying to dig them up. Now these tomatoes were not only large, they were sweet and tasted like something akin to strawberries. Of course, I could be prejudiced about the last part.

It was with great pride that I placed a plate of them sliced and ready for appreciation before my niece, who was 7 years old. I was informed she did not eat tomatoes. I asked the logical questions: "Is she allergic? Have a phobia? Been attacked by a giant tomato?" Well guess what? She had never –no, not ever - eaten a tomato!

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am

So, I insisted my niece try a slice of my tomato. Reluctantly, she put a small piece in her mouth and timidly chewed as though it were a bug. Suddenly her face lit up! She liked it! Guess what she wanted for breakfast the next morning?

Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.
Say!
I like green eggs and ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!

How many of your experiences are like my niece’s? Perhaps being willing to take a closer look at what you dislike in life contains the key to a whole new world. Real thinking can be experienced when you take the time to find a reason to like what you dislike and dislike what you like.

Dislike what you like? Why would you want to do that? It’s for the same reason you should try to imagine liking what you dislike: to give yourself the opportunity to see the subject in question without prejudice.

Habits are hard to break, but when you accept the challenge of trying something new, it is quite often the door to discovering the power within you and learning how better to enjoy your life!

Dr. Seuss was a wise man.

Our Imaginary I

1/25/2024

Our greatest enemy for something better is making the mistake of thinking that we only function as a single person. In fact each of us is a legion of personalities, each with its own desire, interest, and agenda. Because these subpersonalities function below our level of awareness, we imagine ourselves to be a single, solitary person. Our change from one personality to another is not noticed. Their greatest power over us lies in the fact that we believe ourselves to be a single personality and never see the influence of the multitude. We attribute mood swings to the response we have to difficulties.

How would you feel if you knew that the change in your mood indicates a change into a different personality?

Think of your relationship with your subpersonalities like this. You are the master of a house that has hundreds of servants. You are gone a lot so the servants are in fierce competition to see who will be in charge. Each has its own agenda which ends the moment another personality wrests leadership from him. Have you ever known someone that being able to deal with them required your being aware of which "mood" they were in? Can you see that the same thing is true of you? Some people are more asleep to their subpersonalities, but we all have them. Do you get the idea?

Why am I bothering to tell you this?

The actions of these subpersonalities within you are the reason your best intentions are so easily forgotten and why goals must be written down and rehearsed each day. The subpersonality in charge today may not be the one who gave intention or set the goals. To accept that there is only one "I" in your life is to set yourself up for failure because you are living in the illusion of an imaginary "I". The key to success is to recognize the roles these subpersonalities play in your life and heal them.

Dannye Williamsen

I have been studying the human psyche and its wonderful and often frustrating journey for over four decades. It was only natural that my love of writing and teaching became part of this journey.

My writings are dedicated to those who are willing to search outside the box for meaning in their lives, who are willing to shift their view of the world just enough to recognize they are unique expressions, and who are willing to do the inner work to improve their understanding of who they are.

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I will read forever because it lets me visit in my mind the worlds that I will never be able to see; it helps me put away the stresses of the day and relax into the rhythm of the story before me; it lets me bring to the surface and experience without regrets those feelings I hide away; it lets me re-experience the thrill of first love through someone else's eyes; it keeps my mind juiced so that it will never desert me; it is always there for me even when there's no one else. I will read forever no matter whether it is print or digital because the words will always call to me. ~ A Sassy Scribbler