Letting go of a grudge you have against someone can be a knuckle-chewing challenge. It can block your peace of mind until you think you're actually being haunted. I finally decided I had to let it go before I drove myself crazy with it. Deciding to let it go was a heck of a lot easier than actually letting it go. However, I found a method that worked for me, and I'd like to share it with you.
My first step was to convince myself that everyone is doing the best they can – at least based on the understanding they have at that moment. If your grudge is against your parents, this is especially meaningful! What I'm saying is that I had to give the person I had a grudge against the benefit of the doubt. I had to say to myself, "What they did made perfect sense to them, even though it seems deliberately hurtful to me."
Think this first step might be a little too hard for you? Then try this: reverse positions with the person or persons you have a grudge against. Think of something that you did in the past that made someone angry at you. Did your behavior make perfect sense to you at the time? Of course it did!
Think this first step might be a little too hard for you? Then try this: reverse positions with the person or persons you have a grudge against. Think of something that you did in the past that made someone angry at you. Did your behavior make perfect sense to you at the time? Of course it did!
Do you wish you had done something different? Maybe. Maybe not. What you did may not have been the best thing to do, but it represented the level of understanding you possessed at that time. Perhaps today you are a better, wiser, and more wonderful person. You might not respond the same way. Let's hope not. Let's hope you learned something from that experience.
The question you need to answer now is: Can you give the same kind of tolerance to the person or persons you hold a grudge against that you are willing to give to yourself?
Work with this question until even though you remember what happened, you cannot generate any feelings associated with the experience. When this happens, you are on your way to completely letting go of the grudge.
Holding a grudge can make you a bitter person. Letting it go is forgiving yourself for allowing these negative feelings into your life, freeing you up to move forward in your life.
The question you need to answer now is: Can you give the same kind of tolerance to the person or persons you hold a grudge against that you are willing to give to yourself?
Work with this question until even though you remember what happened, you cannot generate any feelings associated with the experience. When this happens, you are on your way to completely letting go of the grudge.
Holding a grudge can make you a bitter person. Letting it go is forgiving yourself for allowing these negative feelings into your life, freeing you up to move forward in your life.
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