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Time Moves Forward

7/10/2023

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I just found this free verse I wrote in June, 2020. Interesting that I experienced a moment recently that dealt with my feelings about this very issue. Even three years after the fact, old concerns or regrets will suddenly surface. I am sure the occurrences will be rarer as time goes on. At least this is what I'm told. John and I are soulmates. We served each other's needs, psychologically and  emotionally, in this lifetime. We were able to open ourselves  to each other in ways we'd never been able to do with others. I am still learning from my time with him. Although he, too, was learning, I believe he was further along on the journey this lifetime than I. 
TIME MOVES FORWARD

Time moves forward without a hint of remorse,
dragging me along, ignoring my protests.
I just want to hold onto the moment before ...
before his last breath. Before I lost him forever.
I want to go back and say things I would have
if I hadn't been in such a disordered state of mind.
If I had earlier given up my maniacal hold on hope,
accepted what was and been totally present,
perhaps the memories would be sweeter.
Oh, I said many things to him a few days before
but in that moment of finality, the words fled.
I wanted to pull him back, take hold of a miracle,
go back in time with foreknowledge of what awaited,
so I could be in the moment with him all the time
instead of racing around on an impossible mission.
Sadly, that didn’t happen. Now I must assume
my thoughts today go beyond the veil to him
in whatever form he takes, so he knows that
his death is changing me, clarifying my view
of myself and of the world around me,
pecking away at the walls I’ve built in my life.
When we are together again on the other side
or in another life, I will have grown from this.
You, my love, are still my teacher in many ways
as you say I was yours. We are indeed soulmates.
©DWilliamsen 
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    Dannye Williamsen
    ​
    A Diary in Verse

    Pablo Picasso said, “Painting is just another way of keeping a diary.” For me, free verse is like a diary. It serves you by allowing you to release your emotions by setting pen to paper. At times, it helps you clarify your thinking on a subject. Regardless of the motivation, it is an intimate exercise. As a writer, it takes courage to share them with others. The words lay you open to the world.

    Life is a purifying process. It serves as our crucible – a place where we can experience the heat of change. Life is our source for opportunities to transform ourselves. For me, writing, particularly free verse, helps me transform my feelings about difficult situations by putting them down on paper. Oftentimes with those verses serving as release valves, I can feel myself changing as soon as I place the last period on the verse.

    One thing all humans have in common are emotions. Emotions exist on a complex spectrum, and the spark leading to their expression can be either intrinsic or extrinsic. It can stem from experiences in the past or those in the here and now or even those on the world stage.

    I chose to share these in hopes they would resonate with others. I hope some of them can serve you on your journey, if for no other reason than to know you’re not alone in how you are feeling.  
    ​

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I will read forever because it lets me visit in my mind the worlds that I will never be able to see; it helps me put away the stresses of the day and relax into the rhythm of the story before me; it lets me bring to the surface and experience without regrets those feelings I hide away; it lets me re-experience the thrill of first love through someone else's eyes; it keeps my mind juiced so that it will never desert me; it is always there for me even when there's no one else. I will read forever no matter whether it is print or digital because the words will always call to me. ~ A Sassy Scribbler