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Living in Day-Tight Compartments

5/22/2023

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I wrote this earlier, but even now, with three years gone by, things are still the same. My husband passed on May 22, 2020. I love you, John
Living In Day-Tight Compartments
 
The calendar informs me another year has passed
since the oxygen levels in my life diminished.
How do I even begin to measure the years?
My mind cannot comprehend this passing of time.
Yes, I know the things to which I’ve put my hand.
I can list two novels completed, another begun.
I can recount my efforts to carve out a place for myself
in this strange, new world in which I’m forced to live.
The tears have fallen, sometimes mimicking a waterfall,
sometimes a leaky faucet, a constant, unwelcome reminder
that things have shifted. Nothing is the way it was.
How do I even begin to measure the years?
Moving forward in time is not a choice.
You do what’s expected of you, what you expect,
what you know he would expect you to do.
Yet, you know you’re not really moving forward.
You’re living life in day-tight compartments.
Each day is a new life you fill with routines and
expectations that will lead you to yet another day.
You cannot accept the passing of time, the years,
for it means the best part of your life is gone.
So many things left undone, unsaid.
How do I even begin to measure the years?
To embrace this new life with unbridled hope
may be asking more than I can give at the moment.
Learning to be alone, to accept that no one will answer
when I speak my thoughts is all I can manage now.
I will continue to live in day-tight compartments
until I can see a light at the end of this tunnel,
until I can promise myself more than one day at a time,
until the oxygen level rises again, and I can breathe.
 

©DWilliamsen 
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    Dannye Williamsen
    ​
    A Diary in Verse

    Pablo Picasso said, “Painting is just another way of keeping a diary.” For me, free verse is like a diary. It serves you by allowing you to release your emotions by setting pen to paper. At times, it helps you clarify your thinking on a subject. Regardless of the motivation, it is an intimate exercise. As a writer, it takes courage to share them with others. The words lay you open to the world.

    Life is a purifying process. It serves as our crucible – a place where we can experience the heat of change. Life is our source for opportunities to transform ourselves. For me, writing, particularly free verse, helps me transform my feelings about difficult situations by putting them down on paper. Oftentimes with those verses serving as release valves, I can feel myself changing as soon as I place the last period on the verse.

    One thing all humans have in common are emotions. Emotions exist on a complex spectrum, and the spark leading to their expression can be either intrinsic or extrinsic. It can stem from experiences in the past or those in the here and now or even those on the world stage.

    I chose to share these in hopes they would resonate with others. I hope some of them can serve you on your journey, if for no other reason than to know you’re not alone in how you are feeling.  
    ​

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I will read forever because it lets me visit in my mind the worlds that I will never be able to see; it helps me put away the stresses of the day and relax into the rhythm of the story before me; it lets me bring to the surface and experience without regrets those feelings I hide away; it lets me re-experience the thrill of first love through someone else's eyes; it keeps my mind juiced so that it will never desert me; it is always there for me even when there's no one else. I will read forever no matter whether it is print or digital because the words will always call to me. ~ A Sassy Scribbler